It's surprising, considering that Chrysler and GM are in the same town,
that GM didn't learn from the Plymouth Prowler episode. When GM decided
to kick up some custom retro mojo, it commissioned the Chevy SSR, an
awesome-looking hotrod pickup truck with composite body panels and a
slick convertible top. Alas, the chassis and mechanics for the SSR
were borrowed from GM's corporate midsize SUV program, making the
putative performance machine heavy, underpowered and unforgivably lazy.
It was no more hotrod than Britney is the next Helen Mirren. In the next
couple of years, Chevy amped up the SSR but by then the credibility was
gone. The SSR also violated a principle of hotrodding. Hotrods are
homemade subversion of the existing order, mechanical folk art. There
is no such thing as a factory hotrod. Seems obvious, in retrospect.
What makes a car bad? Is it the car with the worst exterior styling? The most dreadful interior? The most uncomfortable ride? The least reliable/most poorly made? Or is it a dismal combination of all these factors? For our purposes, the worst car in the world is not only the vehicle that incorporates the most of these negative traits, but also more importantly, has no redeeming qualities of what makes a car great whatsoever.
Friday, December 11, 2015
2003 Hummer H2
One struggles to think of a worse vehicle at a worse time. Introduced
shortly after 9/11 — an event whose causes were tangled in America's
unquenchable thirst for oil — the Hummer H2 sent all the wrong signals.
It was/is arrogantly huge, overtly militaristic, openly scornful of the
common good. As a vehicle choice, the H2 was a spiteful reactionary
riposte to notions that, you know, maybe we all shouldn't be driving
tanks that get 10 miles per gallon. Not surprisingly, the green-niks
struck back. A Hummer dealership was torched in Southern California. The
H2 was also a PR catastrophe for GM, who happened to be repossessing
and crushing the few EV1 electric cars at the time. It all contributed
to GM's emerging image as the Dick Cheney of car companies.
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